You know that thing — Manhattan was the place for this — when you briskly pass people on the street and catch just a second or two of conversation that snaps you to and leaves you sketching out the rest of their story in your head?

I decided back in 2014, for a therapeutic break from my otherwise crowded thoughts, to listen for those as I zipped from office to the subway most days. The collection below is an unedited, chronological transcript of the most interesting bits I encountered over a couple of years of doing this.

From the mundane to the outrageous, some made me laugh, some left me wondering, but all caught my ear. Some of the people I noticed physically, others I just heard as they blurred past or behind me or whatever. I suspect you’ll be able to conjure some image of the characters in this play, just from these bits of dialogue or monologue.

speaker 1 — “I should say…” speaker 2 — “Say it!”

“He always fucking uses me as an excuse!”

…”he’s Muslim and the only one who cares about her….”

“That is a long day! catch you later, man”

“I was going to kick him! Yeah!!”

“She looks at me and goes (nods head). And I was, like wow!”

“… conviction that the European version of the show needs to be 48 minutes and that….”

speaker 1 — “ You’re out here doing your best” speaker 2 — “I’m out here doing my best”

“ you’re going to have to embrace what you’re doing”

“my hair is perfect! I’m going to take a selfie”

“them other little kids being mean to them, telling them they devil kids”

“or you could probably just rob it”

“We pay taxes for these people to sit in prison and rot and I…”

“Whatever I can do, I want to help you and that’s why…”

“yeah I don’t know, it’s a little less than five months, like six”

“So the honest sister used to be engaged”

“Life on the job is, of course…you know….dull”

“…on top of the cold, allergies and asthma…”

“I want to launch a marijuana bar, I have to go to Seattle”

“Here, let’s hold the scissors for you….”

“Like I don’t know what to tell you! Answer the question!!”

“Ain’t nothin’ from no damn super”

“And they were like feeding each other with chopsticks, it was so disgusting”

“Even in the privacy of your own home it’s odd”

“Hollywood tragedy! Robin Williams, another Hollywood tragedy folks! read all about it!”

“hey I didn’t get to see any pictures of Billy”

“actually it’s two things: we were supposed to get more money and…”

“They are having fun over there. I said that’s okay, I’m not mad”

“Dude, she asked me! She asked ME!”

“Smile, life is short, it’s Wednesday not Monday”

“I logically know that is not the case, but…”

“No no sir, she is lazy bum, she is lazy bum!”

“oh shit! how big is that grouper?!”

“But there are quirks in the system like this…’

“She sent my resume in but I’m telling you I’m not looking for full-time work! I can’t, I’m telling you, I can’t!!”

“It’s crazy, man! Life is craaaazy!”

“he better be good otherwise he’s not getting the iPad tomorrow”

“No, no, no! C’mon! We’d be good together, you know?”

“I see my phone, face down, sunk into the bottom of…”

“I hear you have a big ass heart. I wanna see it..”

“It’s like naked only not spelled out…NKD…ya know?”

“It’s one of Dad’s lessons he taught me early on”

“Every time I turnaround you tell me I need to stop losing money, I got to do shit”

“He’s just going to his classes, I’ve got to fucking stop that”

“What she wanted was for Cameron to grovel, because she had this obsession with Cameron”

“Oh I’ve had a fun day…and by fun I mean not at all”

“I’m not disrespecting you, I’m not disrespecting you, I’m not disrespecting you! I’m not…”

“Is mother nature bipolar or what?”

“It was a beautiful thing, in my life!”

“I have no patience for your beating around the bush, I am a woman of business and…”

“I never showed nobody, you see this hole in my head?”

“Do you think I’m going to feel different?”

“Last time we had a conversation I told you I was a little drunk?”

“You’re pissing me the fuck off!!! That’s why it’s been 4 years since…”

“I can really sense shit, like you know…”

“At this point I’m spent; I don’t even care”

“Like I haven’t asked my dad but I’m pretty sure I’m his favorite child”

“That’s what I say — call it like it is and he’s flamboyant”

“I know for a fact she’s leaving you”

“I suck at that”

“Hey Miss! Free massage!”

“Throw me the pig! That’s how you win every fucking time!”

“I was vomiting and riveted at the same time”

“So then it’s like I got the fucking bail…”

speaker 1 — What’re doin wit your day? spear 2 — I’m goin bird huntin speaker 1 — Bird huntin!?